I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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