I'm passing your future prison.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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