Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
