DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize