Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
