East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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