I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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