I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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