I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
