So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
