note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
