Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize