omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
