oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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