don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize