Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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