Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
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