And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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