When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
it's great music for shaving your balls
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
