but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
