hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize