He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
