my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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