i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize