No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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