Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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