he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize