Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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