hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
