Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
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