this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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