Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
