Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
