and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
