Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
