You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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