The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
