I have demons in me.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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