Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
