watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
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