she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
