Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize