Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
