what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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