I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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