She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
