this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
