Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize