She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
