Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
