okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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