there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
