so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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