Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
