Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
