its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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