Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
