Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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