You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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