I got chris browned last night
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
