my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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