no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
