btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
