That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
