how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
