Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I just made out with a guy for $7.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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