we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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