Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
