I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
