he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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