i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
