I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
