My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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