i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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